Blue Valentine

I am sad. I thought I was okay but I am not. Even the sky feels so gloomy today. I wonder if they know what I feel now.

I know that today should be a happy day where people spend this special day with someone they love; family, lover, friends. But today, I can't spend it with them. All my friends are working today. The worst part is my parents departed from Ningbo this morning to another city, then they go back home. I didn't feel sad when we separated at the station. I thought I was okay, because the last time my mom went back, I cried secretly on the subway. I still feel okay when I ate at downtown. But all that changed when I entered my apartment building and the lift. I entered it by myself. It felt so lonely. I am used with the many people this past few weeks and suddenly it's all by myself. The part that break my heart is when I entered my room. It felt so empty. I cried I cried and I cried. I didn't even want to look at my room. The wall hanger used to filled with their clothes. My desk used to be messy with all of their stuff. I used to hate that because too much things around in such a small room. But now, I miss them. How can I be such an ignorant and not thankful when they were around? I wonder if they had wonderful and memorable times during their visit.

It is the 3rd times I cried because I was left by the people that I love. Now I know that I don't want to be left by the people I love. It will make me sad. But I don't feel that way when I leave them. Am I selfish??

Anyway, Happy Valentine Day guys. Sorry that I post such a gloomy post. It might sounds childish because I spill my feelings here but I just want to write my feeling right now. Hope you guys have a wonderful day.